The poker gods

Do not anger the poker gods. They are all powerful. I made this mistake today. Watch how they brought me to my knees.


Multi-Table Tournament
Table Name Hand ID Game Stakes
MTT Table 3 5298543-74 Holdem No Limit 400/800
[Nov 1 17:01:54] : Hand Start.
[Nov 1 17:01:54] : Seat 1 : Mintman has $7,150
[Nov 1 17:01:54] : Seat 2 : mwo3 has $7,980
[Nov 1 17:01:54] : Seat 3 : ReeDonkulos has $14,770
[Nov 1 17:01:54] : Seat 4 : --joker-- has $5,800
[Nov 1 17:01:54] : Seat 5 : Junglecat03 has $12,080
[Nov 1 17:01:54] : Seat 6 : j chitwood has $6,070
[Nov 1 17:01:54] : Seat 7 : charlie1972 has $7,100
[Nov 1 17:01:54] : Seat 8 : Melspoker has $10,320
[Nov 1 17:01:54] : Seat 9 : kristie521 has $14,070

[Nov 1 17:01:54] : j chitwood posted small blind.
[Nov 1 17:01:54] : charlie1972 posted big blind.
[Nov 1 17:01:54] : Game [74] started with 9 players.
[Nov 1 17:01:54] : Dealing Hole Cards.
[Nov 1 17:01:54] : Seat 5 : Junglecat03 has Qd Qc

(hmm nice hand lets hope for some action)

[Nov 1 17:02:06] : --joker-- called 800 and raised 5,000 and is All-in

(joker u da man)

[Nov 1 17:02:10] : Junglecat03 called 5,800

(fucking right i do)

Poker Gods: The cat is allin. We like the cat. We know he plays proper poker with dignity and respect. We know he has a hand. We will reward his patience and good play with a nice flop and give him an overcaller to boost the pot. Enjoy.

[Nov 1 17:02:11] : j chitwood called 5,400

[Nov 1 17:02:11] : Board cards [Qs 3h 2d]

( The poker gods are true to their word. I flop the nut set and am certain to take the pot down. Woohoo!!)
[Nov 1 17:02:14] : j chitwood bet 270 and is All-in
[Nov 1 17:02:14] : Under-Raise rules are now in effect.

(ok now i am naughty and slowroll for a few seconds. I have a short internal dialogue running along the lines of

Junglecat: I have the nuts! I own all you kippers! Munch my dust! Do i call? Let me see if I can solve this using the math.... pot is laying me something like 18000 :300 or 60-1 and i have the best possible hand. I'd estimate im probably about 97% to win this pot. It's close, but i'm paid to make these tough decisions. I CALL!)

(This is translated to the rather briefer public version of:)

[Nov 1 17:02:51] : Junglecat03 : hmmm
[Nov 1 17:02:53] : Junglecat03 called 270

(Sadly, the arrogance and cockiness of the cat has not gone unnoticed)

Poker Gods: The cat has failed to display his usual standards of table etiquette. He should have, to use a hackneyed poker cliche, "got it quietly". The poker gods demand this small piece of humility in order for him to collect the pot. But he did not. And now he will suffer. Oh yes. For you do not desecrate the temple of the poker gods without severe repercussions. Brace yourself, sacreligious feline. You are in for a fall.

Poker God 1: How shall we punish him?

Poker God 2: Let us gift the spoils to the player he humiliated. He has Jacks. Let the turn and river be RUNNER RUNNER jacks providing the ultimate pain and humiliation. HAHA!

Poker God 3: Shit, i've already dealt a 4 on the turn. WHOOPS!

Poker God 2: Sod it, give it to the other kipper who's jammed the str8 draw.



[Nov 1 17:02:53] : Showdown!
[Nov 1 17:02:53] : Seat 5 : Junglecat03 has Qd Qc
[Nov 1 17:02:55] : Seat 4 : --joker-- has 5h Tc
[Nov 1 17:02:55] : Seat 5 : Junglecat03 has Qd Qc
[Nov 1 17:02:55] : Seat 6 : j chitwood has Jc Jd

[Nov 1 17:03:01] : Board cards [Qs 3h 2d 4h 6h]

(Junglecat: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO)

[Nov 1 17:03:01] : Seat 6 : j chitwood has Jc Jd
[Nov 1 17:03:01] : j chitwood has Pair: Jacks
[Nov 1 17:03:01] : Seat 5 : Junglecat03 has Qd Qc
[Nov 1 17:03:01] : Junglecat03 has 3 of a Kind: Queens
[Nov 1 17:03:01] : Junglecat03 wins 540 with 3 of a Kind: Queens
[Nov 1 17:03:01] : Seat 4 : --joker-- has 5h Tc
[Nov 1 17:03:01] : --joker-- has Straight 65432
[Nov 1 17:03:01] : Seat 5 : Junglecat03 has Qd Qc
[Nov 1 17:03:01] : Junglecat03 has 3 of a Kind: Queens
[Nov 1 17:03:01] : Seat 6 : j chitwood has Jc Jd
[Nov 1 17:03:01] : j chitwood has Pair: Jacks
[Nov 1 17:03:01] : --joker-- wins 18,200 with Straight 65432
[Nov 1 17:03:06] : Melspoker : lol

(Junglecat: FU kipper)

[Nov 1 17:03:16] : Hand is over.
[Nov 1 17:03:16] :
[Nov 1 17:03:16] : Stakes: 400/800 Current level: 8 Level up in: 6 min. Break in: 53 min. Players : 57

Poker gods: Our work is done.

Poker god 1: Hey Fugu is slating some player on table 3, let's go bust him!

Poker god 2: OK, let me just finish off my heads up game with jesus. All that hanging around with fishermen in galilee obviously rubbed off, he jsut caught a friggin 2 outer against me!