Customer service response

A fellow poker player, Zimbra posted a chat he had with a CS agent on a poker site. He was a bit frustrated with the guy's response. I added the italics of what i thought might be going through the agent's head. Pretty accurate i think.

ZIM maybe it would help if you heard the internal thought processes of the CS guy?




craig b: Hello Zimbra, my name is craig b, How may i help you?
Jeez, what's a guy gotta do to eat his damn cream cheese bagel in peace. Let's see ...paste generic greeting....fill in Zimbra...we're off....hope this is quick. I'm damn hungry. what kind of name is zimbra anyways...
Zimbra: Hello, I am trying to register for today's $20k qualifier
Zimbra: at 2.30pm
Zimbra: However, it won't let me. I played 50 raked hands last night between 10pm and midnight
Zimbra: well within the 24 hour deadline
Zimbra: and it says I have played 0 raked hand

Hmmmm wonder if that shop down the round still does those cream donuts. I could definitely go for one of those right about.....oh s**t he's stopped typing. Better say something i guess. Hmmm....[thumbs through book of useless excuses]....ahh yes this should do it.

craig b: maybeit's full
craig b: ok

please buy it, please buy it. He's buying it he's buying, hell yeah he's ......

Zimbra: No, it's not full.

Ok he's not buying it. Smart cookie eh. [calls over to colleague] Hey Jenny, we've got a live one. Seems like he's not playing ball. If he ain't playing ball, then I'm sure as hell gonna bust his...

craig b: one second

I'm having a damn bite on my bagel, you can wait pal

Zimbra: thanks.

craig b: no you have 50 raked hands within the time period

Ok that should confuse him

Zimbra: Then why won't it let me register?

F***ed if i know. Do i look like some whizkid IT nerd. I'm only working here cos when I turned up for the interview having been sent here to qualify for Jobseeker's allowance, they somehow gave me the job. I guess walking into an interview dressed in full combat gear, yelling "you heard what i said sergeant, send in the apache chopper NOW" into a walkie talkie isn't enough to disqualify you these days.

Zimbra: It specifically says I have 0 raked hands when I click on the register button
Zimbra: And the same on the 50 Up tournament
Zimbra: I have sent an email about this to enquiries@sportingodds.com
Zimbra: Just now

Oh back with the problem. Geez getting a bit desperate. Better have another slug of the old bagel while i think.

craig b: one moment please

FFS cream cheese all over the keyboard. Jenny's looking over giving me a dodgy look. How embarrassing. Had to be the exact same time i opened that attachment my friend Dirty Dave sent through didn't it?

Zimbra: ok

---

craig b: just checking for you
Zimbra: thanks...
Ok, mopped most of it up. Goddamnit, i gotta get rid of this guy soon. He sure is a stayer!
---

craig b: it seems that you are unable register for the tourney
craig b: so you can kiss my but!

oops did i think that or type it???

Zimbra: Yes, I see that... but why?

craig b: try for the one that starts at 4.30pm gmt
craig b: i do not know why

you gettin this yet Zim. I know s**t, you know s**t we could dance this little samba for a while or just hang up our shoes right now what do you say?

Zimbra: The tournament is about to start, by the way
Zimbra: I want to play the 2.30pm one
Zimbra: That's the reason I specifically played those raked hands
Zimbra: I can't register for the 50 Up tourney either
Zimbra: so what makes you think the 5.30pm tourney will be any different?

oh mannnn......ok basically I've run out of lame excuses so here goes the oldest trick in the book. When in doubt, DELEGATE! Let the dudes checking the mail deal with this guy cos I got bagels to eat.

craig b: To enable us to investigate this matter we will require an email from you, this will allow us to track your query to completion.
Zimbra: I have sent you an email about this

WHAT? He's already done this! Why's he hassling poor me then?? Anyway I'll throw him one of the addresses. Hopefully he'll have mailed the other one so i can tell him no that's the wrong one and he can get OFF my case.

craig b: support@pokerresponse.com ?
Zimbra: to enquiries@sportingodds.com, just before I contacted live chat HE SHOOTS, HE SCORES!
Zimbra: okay, I have sent it to that email address as well now
craig b: cheers
craig b: Thank you for your query; if we can be of further assistance please don’t hesitate in contacting us.

copy paste generic adios message. Insert bagel in mouth, taste the creamy cheese....and relax. Hey I wonder if jenny fancies coming out for a drink with me? I'll ask her soon as I finish watching this clip from dirty dave. Hey, ive never seen a traffic cone used like THAT before!