Poker4Charity - Newcastle Part 1 - THE JOURNEY INTA TOON

Last weekend I played a couple of poker tourneys in newcastle. These were poker4charity tournaments, always a good laugh. Below is part one of the trip. The account's quite long so i've split it into sections. This was the journey up......

I headed off with flushie from brighton station to King's Cross around 2 o clock. We found a table and started the inevitable heads up battles we always have on train journeys. I must admit flushie had got the better of me in live heads up games previously, but the month i spent playing entirely heads up games improved my play immensely and I now think we are very evenly matched.

By the time we had reached King's Cross to change onto the Newcastle train, we were still locked in battle so picked up the chisp and cards and went to catch our train from the main station via a sandwich shop. Ship that bacon brie and cranberry sandwich catwards.

Ok so we get on the train but what is this? Pretty much every seat is reserved. Now to be honest this kind of thing pisses me off. We paid £107 for a return ticket to newcastle. A rip off if ever i saw one. Then it turns out we haven't got anywhere to sit!

Angered by this, we just sat down at the one of the tables with reserve tickets behind the seat and removed the tickets. (I later found out there's a £200 fine for this. LMAO. You'll have to prise this money out of the cat's cold dead paws bitch)

Anyway we cracked open the chips and cards. As the train filled up a small asian man approached and pointed out he had the seats reserved. Fair play, the guy had his family with him so we retired to a couple of unoccupied seats jsut behind. Sitting opposite us was a guy using his laptop and just behind him was a 35+ yr old woman who had piled her luggage up on the seat next to her in what was to prove a futile attempt to keep it clear.

We pushed on with our game (which i eventually won, i forget the details, suffice to say flushie got schooled.) We got to Leeds (i think) quite uneventfully when a new group of travellers boarded the already bursting train. As people bustled through the train miserably searching for places to sit, one man approached the woman and asked if she could remove her stuff so he could sit down. She was pretty reluctant about this but eventually moved her stuff and the guy plonked his ass down in the seat.

Me and flushie cracked on with another game and about 20 minutes had passed when a bit of a fuss started to develop. We heard the woman saying to the man "please move you're being obscene!"

"I'm not moving" replied the man.

"If you don't move I'm calling the guard. You're being a disgusting man!"

Suffice to say at this point me and flushie were having trouble stifling our laughter. Naturally we were pretending to pay no attention whilst avidly gripped by the ensuing drama.

The guard was called over and seemed a bit distraught and unable to deal with the whole situation. The woman explained to the guard that the man had been "touching himself"

The man( who had quite an "educated" (posh) voice) vehemently denied these accusations, suggesting that the police should be called if she wished to make a complaint.

The guard was perplexed by all this and practically begged the man just to find another seat. He refused to budge though so ultimately the woman was sent off to find someone less pervy to sit next to. Man this was such a funny moment.....

It did show a quick way to get a couple of seats on a crowded train though. Simply sit down next to a nervous woman and start touching yourself up! Brilliant!

Eventually we arrived at newcastle and got off the train along with the "posh fiddler." (Flushie apparently wanted to start a club of posh fiddlers - don't want to know...)

Off we headed to check into the hotel then out for a night of drinking and poker. More to follow......